Seedaylishous Hangovers

This week’s food for thought – seedaylishous hangovers

In theory – A hangover describes the sum of unpleasant physiological effects following heavy consumption of alcoholic beverages. The most commonly reported characteristics of a hangover include headache, nausea, sensitivity to light and noise, lethargy, dysphoria, diarrhea and thirst, typically after the intoxicating effect of the alcohol begins to wear off.

In reality – soul destroying…

There is nothing more I detest than a hang over and to be quite honest I’m fed up with them. Some are so gruelling they play with my mind and convince me that alcohol will never again touch my lips. But for some reason, come the weekend, or even mid week, I once again partake in this vicious cycle, awaiting the punishment that will follow in due course (its like some sort of sick fetish). To make matters worse, it seems the older I get, the worse they become. I remember vividly the days of invincible under age raging and waking up virtually hang over free. Why must all good things come to an end? The moment I turned 18 it seems this body had bigger and better things and without fail I will in some shape or form bear the brunt of my previous night antics.

I’ve taken to treating them as a game, not knowing how I’m going to wake up – sort of like a lucky dip – and have characterised them it in to three categories: the first being general overall seedyness, the second vomiting and thirdly the headache where it feels like your head will detach from your body and sky rocket in to another universe. But, depending on how hard you tried, you might even hit the ‘jackpot’ and endure all three. By far the ultimate is waking up drunk and thinking you’re fine and you have defeated it, until it sneaks up and hits you later on in the day.

You might be thinking to yourself, ‘Cutts you haven’t tried this . . .’  not to cut you off, but I’ve tried every remedy known to man to try and alleviate this problem– everything from drinking powerade before bed, skulling litres of water, swimming, green tea, orange, bacon and eggs, panadol, fast food, ‘backing the truck up’ (goes down like razer blades) berocca, a 4km run – it didn’t end well. I might make it my quest in life to find the invincible cure to this incurable taunt.  

Some of my ‘favourite hang over moments' include:

• ·      Passing out on in a kitchen I shared with 11 other people

• ·      Pulling over and spewing out of my driver door in a neighbourhood street in front of a resident watering their grass
• ·      Spewing off the back of a truck in Thailand
• ·      Spewing in the bin in my room and forgetting about it
• ·      Setting off a fire alarm and having my building evacuated after I tried to sleep in my shower (note to self shower with door open)
• ·      Passing out in a bar after 35 shots, being carried home and then not surfacing for the next 24 hours
• ·      Stopping a coach on the way to Oxford to get out and have a spew
• ·      Crying in the carpark of subway after I broke my immobiliser and couldn’t get home (nothing worse than soggy subway)
• ·      Sneaking out of a tutorial to have a spew only to be caught by my tutor (awkward)
• ·      Making some very interesting purchases at Dublin airport (including the most boring book on earth: Tony Blair’s biography) and the passing out and dribbling on myself – much to the delight of fellow passengers.
• ·      Sleeping with quokkas in a park at Rottnest.

Ahhhhhh such good times!

So to the lucky ones out there where your body is yet to provide you with a ‘useful, natural and intrinsic disincentive to excessive drinking – your time will come!

Bye for now

Cuttsy